Librarian

(sung to the tune of Piano Man, by Billy Joel)

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday

Regular patrons shuffle in

There's an old man standing 'front of me

Preparin' to ask a question

He says, "Son, can you find me some poetry

I'm not really sure if it's Poe,

But it's sad and it's sweet and I read it complete

But I checked it out a long time ago."

La la la, de de da

La la, de de da da dum

Chorus:

Find us that book, you're the librarian

Find us that book tonight

Well, we're all in the mood for a mystery

And I heard that new Grafton's alright.

Now John at the front owes some major fines,

though he thought everything was free.

And he's quick with a joke, or some dumb anecdote,

And hasn't showered since 1983.

He says, "Bill, I believe 'tis a conspiracy."

As he wiped some drool off his face.

But the computer says he owes about twenty,

and Bill's not my name in the first place.

Oh, la la la, de de da

La la, de de da da dumb

Now Paul's some stock market wizard,

who causes us only strife,

and he's talkin' with Davy, who some say is crazy

And oughta be locked up for life

And the place is just bursting with lunatics

as some idiot yells on his phone

Yes, they're surfing this thing they call Internet

While asking 'bout interlibrary loans

Chorus:

Find us that book, you're the librarian

find us that book tonight

Well I'm all in the mood for a comedy,

and I heard Dave Barry's alright.

It's a pretty large crowd for a Saturday

As a patron's jaw opens wide

'Cause she owes us a fee, for scratching a CD,

And that fine we won't override

And the library smells like a urinal,

and that guy in the front smells like a beer

But they all stand in line, and argue their fine,

and ask, "Can I have the manager here?"

Oh, la la la, de de da

La la, de de da da dum

Chorus:

Find us a book, you're the librarian

find us a book, tonight

Well we're all in the mood for a fantasy,

and we heard Tolkien's alright.

old dances || new dances